Dear Estephania;
This is your 4th year at Foothill College and you completed
the last English course, English 1B. Your goal in this class was to maintain
your writing on an essay level, especially with the paragraph and sentence
structure, PIE. I know you were trying hard to get a better focus on PIE, but
you need to do it harder and practice more so you can become a proficient essay
writer. However, you learn more in this class; you learned about your dreams,
critical thinking, music and the history of California.
The first thing to learn in the curse was about the importance of
defining the Dream, the California Dream. In which you were able to define your
own California Dream and the difference of American Dream, with the help of the
readings from the Course Reader and the California reading book. To finalize
the chapter you were asked to do an essay, which you called it The State of Hope, in this essay you
talked about that California is the only state to be successful in life and
give you the hopes to reach your dreams. The grade you obtained was 69 out of
100 because you did not focus o the sentences and the ideas were not clear.
Also in your conclusion you tried to tell something to reader, that the dreams
are always going to become true in California; but the way you wrote it the
read it got it as to keep dreaming because to keep dreaming means to be
Californian, so California you are. I thought it was funny how your sentences
were not clear.
Then, the music of California was knocking on the door; in this chapter
you learned to use your critical thinking to have a better understanding on
music, how to interpret what the singer is singing and what kind of metaphors
he is giving to the world. The song that cached your attention was San Andreas Fault by Natalie Merchant
and with this song you were able to write an essay called California’s Fault, such a pun; the reflection on this essay was to
see how the singer was talking about California and the California Dream. In
this essay your sentences were much clear and focus, but still you need to work
on PIE. The examples that you gave on the essay were kind of out of the context
because there were not too related to the son, such as the Governator and the Kardashians.
The class kept going and the elections were coming up, so the teacher
decided to change plans and introduce politics to the class. Since the
prepositions in California were very strong, your class met on in groups in
which one of them had a preposition. You were on the preposition 35, Human
Trafficking. Human trafficking is going to help by increasing prison sentences
up to 15 years, big fines foe human trafficking convictions and extra police
training. With your group, everyone was helping to analyze the proposition,
with opinions and examples gave by your group mates. Also you study the
fallacies in America and your group focuses on: Hasty Generalization, Missing
the point, Post Hoc and Slippery slop.Once you and the group were ready, were
able to present a class to your other fellow classmates in which you guys rock!
Thanks to your group formed by Smeeta Maharag, Kasey Nelson, Arianna
Blankenship, Mishell Koh and Jason Whitten Lee; you were able to write your
essay of why we should vote for the proposition 35. In this essay called Against Human Trafficking, you prove that your introductions was
going better, and the sentences were way much better, but the structure was
adequate I know you can do an excellent sentence. Do it!
At this time you were almost to finish the curse, to understand the
subject you needed to take out the Shakespeare in you. Poems and History was
the chapter and this was very interesting. You had the opportunity to work with
your group again and this time the discussion was about Indian Cartography and the history of the Native Americans.
Learning about this type of history was perfect for you, it was your first time
and you did well. Since other groups also have other poems about the same
subject, you and your group have to compare the poems and find the similarities
and differences between your assigned poem and the poem presented by the other
group. At the end you have to choose a poem to compare with yours. You choose Indian Cartography and The First; the tile came up to be Indians vs. Modern Society. The essay
talked about how unfair the government was with the Indians and how the
government “tried” to make them feel better in the modern society. On this
essay one of your paragraphs were upside down, and the points were not clear,
you left your reader hanging. But you r almost very last paragraph was so much
better and clear which that save you for failing the essay; the conclusion was
so cool that the teacher love it!
Now that you reached the last chapter in your English class you had to
be more focus. This time your focus was in Multiculturalism, since was the last
chapter you had to read more that usual, but you had to watch a movie named Crash which takes all the boring
lectures aside. Sadly, this last chapter came up to be a different one; Jason
Whitten Lee passed away. Your Classmate was the only cheerful, happy and
talkative in the class, which inspired you to participate and see the life
happily. Everyone in the classroom was sad, including the teacher, but thanks to
him you did not went down and quit. You were able to write an essay called The International Arena; I think you did
well in that essay, although there were too many readings on that one. I hope
you did not unfocused in the subject or thesis. In this chapter you learned how
the culture and all the cultures in the world comes to one place and change
life and people in general. You also find out that you have to accept others
people culture to become Multicultural.
I am so proud of you for the progress you have built up in this quarter;
I think your writing skills and creativity really stack out more. If you keep
this up you might be a good journalist.
I want to dedicate all my work to Jason Whitten Lee, I will always miss
you and you are in my heart. Thank you for let me meeting you and I promise you
I will write my essays more sexy. Love you.
Thank you Mr. Brian Lewis for your teachings, for listening, for
supporting me when I was down. You are such a great teacher that I wish you
were teaching all subjects at Foothill. I promise you I will represent you in
my other classes when I write my essays. THANK YOU.
Sincerely;
Estephania Maupome.
12/15/12
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